Updated: Nov 28, 2020
How often do you tell yourself that you must do something? Now, out of those times, how often that “must” should actually be “wish”?
After a few sessions of therapy I was told by my therapist that my life was governed by “musts” which in many situations were totally against my will: “I have to go there….”, “I have to eat that….”, “I have to follow this path...”. These “must dos” did not affect me at the time, since they were making me think that I am part of society. But on a long-term scale, it almost became a habit. I eventually realised that I didn’t enjoy the majority of the “musts” I followed which, at some point, started to affect the way I was looking at my day ahead: “Is it going to be a day that I cannot wait for it to be over, or is it going to be a day full of joy?”
I found out from my therapist that more people than you would expect fall into this trap. We tend to do whatever we see around us: our friends, family, colleagues, or even public figures. And it is so easy to keep up with what they do: social media. You see all those posts from different people and unconsciously, your mind starts to perceive it as all those activities are carried by one person. What is next? You start feeling that you are not as active as that “one person” inside your mind. Always remember: some posts are actually from the past, in reality they might not be as enjoyable as they seem, and most importantly, some posts are out there just to seek approval by the “must” of another person.
We are still experiencing challenging times, but it feels that the worst has passed (fingers crossed!). I truly believe that what we went through, especially during the lockdown, made us rediscover ourselves, and most importantly, the simple things we really like to do. You might have lost your job. It came as a shock and it made you anxious about the future. At the same time, maybe it led you towards something that you enjoy more or at least it will. We also had time to rest, eat better, get closer to the ones we live with, watch the films we always wanted to, complete that online course in a totally different field. It was a time when our “wishes” took over the “musts”.
My biggest “must” used to be “It’s Saturday so I should go out as I will never be this young again”. What’s yours?